He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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