Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
