i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
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