I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
