please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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