it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
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