maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
