I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
