Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
