i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
