We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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