Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
