If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
