cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
