sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
