My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
