actually, I'm a sock model
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
