Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
