I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
