I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
