It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Randomize
