Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
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