i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
