1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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