How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
