I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
