fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Randomize
