just tell him i said nine months
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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