It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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