you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
