ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
