You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
