Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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