How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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