You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
You did what with his pubic hair?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
