We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
