DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize