3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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