guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
