Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
