I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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