I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
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