is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
