5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
