How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
