my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
