i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
