Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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