I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
