Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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