You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
